Considering Marriage Counseling? 3 Mistakes To Avoid
For many, marriage is easy. For others, marriage can be full of distress, grief, jealousy, sadness, and overall discomfort. While some are irreparable, many marital relationships can be saved. If you and your spouse are struggling with your relationship, couples counseling may help. This guide will help you avoid a few common counseling mistakes.
Expecting to Repair Problems Too Fast
In most cases, the problems between you and your spouse did not develop overnight. Therefore, you should not expect to repair the problems overnight.
It is important to remember that marriage counseling is not going to be a quick-and-easy fix. You will need to put in the time and energy to learn why the problems have developed and which methods will be best to repair these problems – over time.
Expecting successful results too quickly will only place more stress on yourself and your relationship with your spouse, resulting in even more problems.
Always Pointing the Finger
Yes, there are instances when the problems in a marriage are entirely caused by the other spouse. However, during counseling, you should not always point the finger at your spouse, putting the blame entirely on them.
Remember to keep an open mind during counseling. Your spouse may have triggered something severe in the marriage, but you may have reacted in a way that made the situation worse.
Also, a lack of communication is a common problem in marriages, and this lack of communication leads to two-way stress. Your spouse may not know how to properly communicate, but you may not know how to either. Or you may not know how to react or deal with your communication problems.
Basically, never think your spouse is entirely to blame for your marital problems - remember that you are a team.
Being the Only One Who Wants Help
Finally, avoid becoming the only spouse who wants to make counseling and your marriage work. It will take you both to truly make real changes that will repair the marriage.
Ask your spouse if they are ready to commit to seeking out professional help first and foremost. Once counseling starts, your spouse needs to be openminded and willing to learn and make the necessary changes.
If you are the only one interested in saving the marriage, counseling will not be effective.
Help is available if you and your spouse are struggling with your marital relationship. This guide will help you avoid common counseling mistakes.